July 2010
75 posts
6 tags
Man vs Artist #109 (Day 6: Followers)
Man: So you know that blog I started, ‘Confessions of a Cup Collector’?
Artist: Sure.
Man: I just got 100th follower?
Artist: Really, today I sold my 100th painting and earned my 1000th dollar.
Man: But how many followers do you have?
7 tags
Man vs Artist # 108 (Cooking with the Manson...
C Manson: … Add a touch of lime, and just a splash of salt and presto, that’s how I make Nacho’s
Man: You use lime in Nacho’s…?
C Manson: Yes, of course, everytime *smiles broadly*
Man: …what are you crazy or something?
6 tags
Man vs Artist #107 (Day 5: Haters)
Man: Art, there has been a lot of haters around lately. You know, bringing me down, when im walking down the street… Just because I’m walking.
Artist: Well, you should stop walking like such a philanthropist, you philanthropist.
Man: Still mad at that Philanthropist?
Artist: Man! He was such a hater! Just because I wouldn’t donate to his “free the mint” foundation.
Man: It’s his job art…
...
3 tags
Reblog where you live.
showmeagoodtime:
lamb-tumors:
akosiemeline:
franklymydear:
crazybitcharoundhere:
sinfultragedy:
thepoint-woman:
funvee:
skyetheskye:
emmatheforger:
brigthe-extractor:
sylvae:
red—vines:
spiderman3:
tom-marvolo-riddle:
justamisguidedghost:
ifmyheartstopsbeating:
iamjustafoolforyou:
-ksull:
haikristen:
Missouri.
Kentucky.
New Hampshire.
long island, new...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #106 (Day 4: Our Generation)
Man: Art, what do you think your fondest memory of our generation is?
Artist: You can stop right there.
Man: What?
Artist: You talkin’ about our generation?
Man: Yeah.
Artist: Well, I don’t give a damn about our generation. Besides, I was born in the 40’s.
Man: The 1940’s? Shit you look fantastic for 70. I thought you were like 20…
Artist: No, No… The...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #105 (Day 3: Racism)
Artist: Do you like the red shirt or the blue shirt?
Man: I like the blue shirt.
Artist: Whats wrong with the Red shirt? Racist…
Man: What the fuck, you jew… Oh wait…
6 tags
Man vs Artist #104 (Day 2: Confidence)
Artist: Would you say you’re a confident person, Man? … oh.
Man is tying a bed sheeta round his waits and following instructiong from an open copy of “DIY Bungie”
Artist: I wonder if confidence and stupidity are at all inherently linked or relative to each other… This could be a prime example of my case stud… Oh he’s just landed on Motorcycle.
6 tags
Man vs Artist #103 (Day 1: Love)
Man: I think I’m in love…
Artist: I know I’m in love.
Man: Alright, me first, she’s tall, she’s got short, black hair, she has dimples and wears flowery dresses. She listens to The Rolling Stones and likes to paint water colours… Alright, Now you.
Artist: He has a long, curly, sometimes, upside down mustache, he is Spanish, and he’s quite well known for...
6 tags
Man vs Artist Will Be Undergoing the 30 Day...
30 Day Rant Challenge
Day 1 - Love.
Day 2 - Confidence.
Day 3 - Racism
Day 4 - Our generation
Day 5 - Haters
Day 6 - Followers
Day 7 - Tumblr
Day 8 - Bestfriends
Day 9 - Wants and Needs
Day 10 - Make up
Day 11 - Global Warming
Day 12 - Boys
Day 13 - Girls
Day 14 - Appearance
Day 15 - Education
Day 16 - Long distant relationship
Day 17 - Tumblr without pictures
Day 18 -...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #102 (Grandeur)
Artist: Man, have you been into the cheese again?
Man stands in the center of the room with a heart shaped box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers with a picture of an Eye, A heart and a yamaka.
Man: There are… for… uh…. me…
6 tags
Man vs Artist #101 (Rudementary)
Man: It’s your birthday today isn’t it?
Artist: No… But it can be.
Man: But it says on the calendar.; “Arts birthday” on today’s date.
Artist: Yeah that’s an old calendar. It is from that year that I was living with that billionaire with short term memory loss. You’ll find a birthday on every page.
6 tags
Man vs Artist #100 (Stein)
On this day in 1941.
Man: Art, we’ve got someone else’s mail.
Artist: Really? Who’s it addressed to?
Man: Well… To “Physicists”.
Artist: And… From who?
Man: A guy called “Albert Einstein.”
Artist: Well, open it, open it, what does it say?
Man: But Art, we aint physicists. Joe Physicist lives in Vienna. Maybe we should forward it to...
3 tags
7 tags
Man vs Artist #99 (Dream Party) (guest post:...
Man: So I was at a party yesterday and guess what happened?
Artist: *Drops the mug he was holding* You were invited to a party?
Man: Yeah. It was at a friend’s.
Artist: You have friends?
Man: Stop being a douche.
Artist: I will the moment you wake up from this dream.
7 tags
Man vs Artist #98 (A Double Allegory) (guest post:...
Man: Hey, I have a question.
Artist: *Rolls Eyes* What is it?
Man: If you make an Allegory about an Allegory is it a Double Allegory?
Artist: No, it’s still an Allegory.
Man: What’s an Allegory?
9 tags
Man vs Artist #97 (Heen Geggs Hand Am) (guest...
Man: Is it too much to ask for some service around here?
[looks around furiously, signals for waiter, fails]
Artist: Im thinking of changing seats with that fellow over there, do you think he’ll mind?
Man: Just a glass of water…
Artist: I’m going to switch with him as soon as he gets up to go to the loo. I don’t think he’ll mind.
[Man begins to wave arms in bird...
7 tags
Man vs Artist #96 (Redundancy check) (guest post:...
Man: I’ve always been afraid of going into a male public toilet, but i conquered that fear just 2 nights ago in Paris
Artist: I share the same fear, too many eyes, too much publicity.
Man: Well, I found it very interesting to say the least. Did you know in France all the men share long metal sinks that periodically spray water, and all the soap is bright blue and just floats about in the...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #95 (Wafer)
Man: Where’ve you been?
Artist: Oh, I just went for a walk in the park. I wanted to climb that tree in the center of the park before my buzz from last night wore off.
Man: Cool. Nice hat.
Artist: I’m not wearing a hat…
Man: Well, cool… ‘sculpture’ of a birds nest with baby eagles in it.
Artist: …. I’ve just inadvertently made a Bald Eagle very,...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #94 (Market)
Artist: You know, I’ve always thought you were very clumsy.
Man walks out of the bedroom and into the living room where Artist is holding an open book.
Man: What do you mean?
Artist: Well, I can only explain it via allegory. You’re so clumsy Ikea hire you to test how many times you can wrongly put together a piece of furnature before they classify humane ‘breaking...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #93 (Gem)
Man: Do you think I should join the airforce?
Artist: I think you should attend AA.
6 tags
Man vs Artist #92 (Call to The Sky)
Man and Artist in Unison: Internet, can we please just fucking stop for a second and talk about this DUN GOOF’D shit. The Dungoof’d Family. And this whole retarded phenomenon. Just… Shit.
Man and artist stare directly into web cam.
Bob transforms into a cricket bat.
Brian- climbs down the fire escape, gets in his car and drives to his group therapy session
Boris the...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #91 (Goujon)
Artist: We should go out to dinner.
Man: What us two?
Artist: No me and Bob…
Bob transforms into a pinback of a yellow smiley face with a chain coming off it, attached to a basket of easter eggs.
Artist: Of course us.
Bob transforms back into a sphere and hovers towards the side of the room he is commonly seen in ‘slurpy machine’ form.
Man: Well, sure. But where would...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #90 (Coco-Boogie)
Man: Hey Art, it’s the 102nd post.
Artist: What did you say? The post is here?
Man: No. It’s the 102nd post on the blog.
Artist: The blog?
Man: You know, the blog we started for your art and my ranting about groceries?
Artist: Oh yeah. Well, really then? How many hits do we have?
Man: Ummm… 7. But to be fair, I did check it 6 times last night.
Artist: Right. That one time...
6 tags
Artist vs Vitality of Experience; ... →
The first and most vital thing to know about the boarding house is: The kitchen is a death trap. Have at least ten rehearsed excuses under your belt for the purpose of a quick getaway. Boarding houses tend to attract loners and lost souls, so unless you want to hear the…
6 tags
Man vs Baby #3 (Man vs Artist #89) (Tympanic)
Man enters the room where Baby is lazily playing with a toy train set.
Baby: Goo, Gaa, Babaswelwewbabooshwellahbu. Baba. Ba-boohmah gaga.
Man: Come on, kid. It’s time for your nap.
Baby: *extreme dissagreement, tears, rebellion*
Man: I know, it blows, but as long as youre still in diapers and can’t speak more than uninterpretable jargon, youll be napping from 1:30-3:45.
Baby:...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #88 (Eager)
Man: Can I really recover from that patent suit on that poem?
Artist: Knock, Knock.
Man: … Who’s there?
Artist: No.
6 tags
Man vs Artist #87 (Cards)
Man: So, I wrote a poem..
Artist: Haven’t we spoken about this before?
Man: just, please. I’m really proud of it. It’s for a girl, and… I really think it’ll make her heart beat, her eye’s water and her skin tingle with its poetic perfection.
Artist: Hmmmmm, alright. Lets hear it.
Man:
Rose are Red, Violet’s are Blue, Sugar is Sweet, And so are you!
...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #86 (vs Pea)
Man: we have a problem.
Artist: Shoot.
Man: I was sleeping last night. And there was something protruding into my back. I couldn’t sleep a wink.
Artist: Did you find the source of the discomfort?
Man: Well.. Yes. There was a pea. Under the third mattress from the bottom.
Artist: Right.. And did you remove it?
Man: Well, No.
Artist: When did you check last?
Man: A week ago.
Artist:...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #85 (Conker)
Man: Do you believe in intellectual property?
Artist: Of course!
Man: And what of it’s robbery?
Artist: Well, It’s like if one steals a loaf of bread. They do so, because they have no bread. But they desire bread. Have no means of preoccupying, procuring or producing any bread. So they steal bread.
Man: And is it as wrong as it was in ‘Aladdin’, to you?
Artist: Quite....
6 tags
Man vs Artist #84 (Hazel)
Man: So, I was talking to this guy today…
Artist: Where?
Man: The hallway…
Artist: And what?
Man: And nothing. I just ran into him.
Artist: Did it hurt?
Man: That’s not funny. I knocked him down two flights of stairs and onto a cat.
Artist: Jesus Christ. Please tell me it wasn’t Brian- on Borris’ Cat.
Man: Well, they’re the only two people that live in...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #83 (Sea Shells)
Man: Isn’t it amazing how so many processes to do with relaxation, rhyme?
Artist: how so?
Man: Well, Like Time, Wine, Fan, Lamb.
Artist: What does a lamb have to do with relaxation?
Man: Lambs are darling. And a darling thought and surely be relaxing?
Artist: I don’t disagree. Speaking of lambs, when you count sheep, are they sheep or goats?
Man: They are lambs.
Artist: Do lambs...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #82 (Flavoured Milk)
Man: Nice shirt!
Artist: Its not a shirt, it’s a tattoo.
6 tags
Man vs Artist #81 (Involuntarily)
Man: Black or White for the Wallpaper?
Artist: How about a pattern, for paisley sakes?
6 tags
Man vs Artist #80 (Leonardo DeCaprio)
Man and Artist sit down to watch ‘Body of Lies’ directed by Ridley Scott, Staring Leonardo DeCaprio (although this scenario is applicable to any movie staring the actor.)
Man: So you know, I said to her, you’re fantastic and everything, and the uniform is killer, but I….
Man pauses and stares at the screen as Leonardo is given screen time.
When the camera moves off...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #79 (Corn on the Cob)
Man: Art, there has been so many new editions to our life since we moved in. Boris is always coming over showing us slides from the old days, Brian- can’t get enough of eves dropping in on our conversations and Bob hasn’t left since the house party, but why would we want him to, amiright, bob?
Bob the Build Sphere consrtucts himself into a scale model of the golden Gate Bridge, then...
6 tags
Man vs Artist #78 (Equilateral)
Man: You hungry?
Artist: Starving…
Man: Anderson or Felini?
Artist: Fellini. Anderson for Desert.
Man: Sweet
6 tags
Man vs Alcohol (Man vs Artist #77) (Nazi Crows)
Man: Fwoahh… It’s been a few.
Alcohol: I will make you feel fuzzy, and tomorrow, a different, more abrupt, less cotton candy-esque fuzzy.
6 tags
Artist vs Dinner (Man vs Artist #76) (Citadel)
Artist: So my plate is my canvas, and my ingredients my colors, and my utensils my brushes…
Dinner: How psychedelic of you…
6 tags
Man vs Television (Man vs Artist #75) (Twig)
Man: Oh well, shows are over… Where the remote…
Man looks around.
Man: Must be under the cushions… It is not under the cushions.
Man desperately scours the living room.
Man: Where on earth…
At the location of the Remote;
Television Remote: So, How much for your Layered Shots, Hombre?
